would you take what you need? but take less than you give...

I've recently come to be aware of something about me I can't explain..

Well, yeah there are plenty of things but I guess this is the only different thing on my mind now..

Putting it simply:
- I have a knack to give to people who come along asking me for money [ be it tissue paper sellers at coffee shops, people doing flag day, or people who try to sell things for their organisation at mrts, particularly orchard]

Okay so maybe calling it a 'knack' might not be the best word, but for lack of a better one for now.

I'm saying this cause as I was on the way to my dental at Orchard after the uber long ocip meeting in school, [i wass late for my appointment already], as I passed the inner doors of the mrt station this young lady wearing a white blouse and jeans approached me.


"Excuse me sir, I'm from so & so and I would like to talk to you about our...."


Very nicely ignoring the fact that I had my earphones plugged in..

But anyway, I never have my music on very loud so I could hear her pretty clearly...

Well putting up my hand to gesture no, while ocntinuing to walk and trying to mouth no thanks, my eye caught sight of two words printed on the clipboard with the organisation papers she was half shoving into my face...

"blah_blah_organisation to help ex-convicts...."

Having noticed I actually took notice of her existence, and maybe cos the look on my face changed a bit, [and maybe because I felt it was plain rude to walk away while someone was talking to me], she sort of said in a fluster:


"will you just stop and listen to me..."


Okay, so maybe I should, and turn to look at her, noticing the green contacts she was wearing. Top marks for looking out-of-this-world I might say.

The look in her eyes too, one quite blatantly readable: Oh crap! Did I just push him too far by saying that?!?! Will it work this time!?!?

Then she went on to cyberspeed everything she was trying to do, her mission and whatnot; me being mentally burdened cos I don't like to be late and I just wanted to get his over with, so basically all I caught was:


".... you don't believe I'm an ex convict right???..... so & so helped me gave me an opportnity... would you like to help by purchasing a pen? [ahh here it is] only $2..."


Oh well.. since I stopped to listen to her, though not understanding anything, I might as well just pay for it... Besides, I did an entire PW PROJECT last year on helping ex-convicts, and I'd just be a plain hypocrite to not assist them now...

Well.. moving on from there, thoughts started flooding into my mind of stuff I've diliberated about over the years...


My mom always tells me not to donate to these kinds of people, preferring to donate straight to charitable organisations via check to their office or sth... and constantly shows me articles of how some people are actually fake and are there to bluff money away from me.. how they always come back to beg for more even though people have donated to them...

But this kind of goes against what I believe in... The Word.. and my heart...

To me it's like this... so what if they might be fake? And use the money for drugs or gambling or drinking?? I'll never know that fully right??

Who am I to judge if they are scheming or not?

And did not the Word say it is more blessed to give than to receive? And to give to the poor and needy??

Well they certainly look needy to me, and I don't recall Jesus turning any beggars away...

Yeah...

I don't know.. kinda cheesy to say this I guess... but my heart doesn't feel right when I walk by some person trying to get help, and the least I can do is to offer what I can... especially so when they make the effort to come personally to ask me..

That, for some reason, I can't turn away...


Pffft. Call me breakable, I guess...