innamorarsi; essere innamorato

should i?

i'm thinking, there's just that too great a disaprity..

i mean...

yeah i guess if i tried i might actually be able to but...

would it just be obligation??

the more i ponder the more the variety the more enticing it gets, and maybe concurrently it 'apparently' seems to be the right/eous, thing to do..

but would i then be fooling myself??

would it make me anymore of fickle and trifling...

or rather would it be if i did so without thinking and just zeroing now?

hmm.

i dont know.

i always dont.

i just dont want to return to the way i was 2/3 years ago, when i happily went out and stabbed myself, oblivious to the signs.

okay maybe not only 2/3 years ago but maybe nearer too but hey, at least i've learned well and finally managed to convalesce. it feels great now, no more oddity.

or have i learned?

only time can tell wont it...

and i think ill follow time..

hopefully it doesnt do too much..

and likewise, hopefully it doesnt do nothing.

time..

wonder how much i've got left...