reflector...

Have i found the answer to my question?? Why didn't i take notice of these words earlier... i was playing my guitar during the sound-check before service when i just gave a slight thought about the words of this song by PLANETSHAKERS:

I wanna be a reflector
I wanna shine with Your glory
I wanna let the whole world know that you're living in me
I wanna burn with Your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I wanna let the whole world know that Jesus lives in me

I wanna be a reflector...

is that the answer to my problems?? do i wanna see Jesus when i look in the mirror?? i really want to.. or do i?? im starting with the man in the mirror... im asking if he'd change his ways... to change to another mirror.. in which Jesus is the person.. and i'm the reflection..

yes.. i would really like that.. so it is true that the further we mature in christ the more distant God seems... why does it have to be like this?? WHY??? i know it's to make us mature more and.. put us through trials.. but i'm so young.. or am i?

reflector.. this changes my whole perspective of things.. now i have a third path to choose from.. the most uncertain one yet.. yet being uncertain.. i can't be sure if its good or bad.. for one thing i don't have to decide much and just trust.. on the other hand i don't like the idea of treading uncertainly.. it's just.. i don't

Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path..

is not what i am reading enough?? is my quiet time not enough?? do i have to read chapters upon chapters each day?? if what i am doing is enough and God's grace is sufficient why does my path still seem so dim?? God wants us to go beyond ourselves ultimately for him and i want to do that.. but....

i don't know.. it just seems all so cliche.. yet.. people have been trying to put through to us that this is necessary.. but.. what is this??? u mean walking down uncertain paths?? trusting God every step of the way?? why can't we choose our own path and still trust God to provide for us?? isit wrong??

this third path also seems so out of point.. yet it's linked to everything.. burn with fire...

sometimes i just wanna burn.. so bright and radiant.. and carefree... can someone can You please.. just let me.. burn