Chapter 2: Perimeter

Within 400 metres of the institution lay several buildings. From BP Petrol Station to the Ministry of Environment building-Newton MRT to Cairnhill CC and Newton Hawker Centre/Market/Whatever and lotsa houses and condominiums dotting the roadsides and landscape.

School was never really fun. Guess it isn't exactly now either. And all I wanted to do was get through those six hrs or so then rush home to watch more tv. Who cared if it was the P4 streaming year. Not I, for one. But I always made a habit to stop by something on the journey home.

Twas' in Newton Mrt's slightly higher tech version of a provision shop, the kind you find in Orchard Mrt 2nd lvl. n stuff. Only this didn't supply what a provision shop did - to my enlightenment. Well sure it sold snacks and drinks and the usual, but what made up its percentage was comics. Yes. Comics. Cards. Gadgets. Whatever the like. I could just pry around the shop for hours amazed at the variety of comics from Spiderman to Spawn to Superman to Archie, the cards of every kind and type ranging from Battletech to Magic to Pokemon to WWE or WWF as it was at that time. Gadgets from the prank kind you play on your friends to interesting ones like glow in the dark kinda things. The kind that will get any small kids attention - like it captured mine. Only recently I found out that it will officialy close on 21 May 2005.

But one thing that really agitated me was, I had no money. Well not enough for anything there at the time. And with the amount of food I ate I don't think saving might have worked.

**

There, in my parent's room's clothing cupboard, lay a miniature circular tin box. Inside lay money.Big notes. Lots of it. My mom put in money for me and told me that one day I'd go and give it all to God. That made me happy. I'd like to do that. Though not personally my offering but still - the satisfaction of giving so much.

On the opposite side of the room lay the worktable. In the centre drawer lay the coin box where spare coins which my dad didn't need would place. His wallet would be placed there when he returned from work too. On the left drawer lay lotsa envelops.Right - Treasures. Thus it was locked.

**

You see, it was one of the first times I had ever been so into the cartoon. I loved it. Pokemon. All I looked forward to on weekends. Wouldn't have missed it for the world. And seeing others bringPokemon cards to school with me having none just did not do. The show alone was not enough. But you see, I had a financial problem.

**

...one day...
I opened the centre compartment..
Closed my eyes..
Inhaled deeply..
And reached for the coin box..

Chapter 1: Jaundice

"hey.. did you check out that cool episode of Pokemon on saturday... Ash was so marvelous!?! and Pikachu cute as usual!!!..."

"yeah twas' awesome!!"

**

I pulled the bench out from under the table and sat down to eat. There before - on my platter - a mix of char siew and deep fried chicken fritters, covered with prolly a 1 cm thick coating of dark, black sauce. This might have been enough to send the cholesterol level of any grown man to overdrive. But I was as thin as an aboriginy. I was already reaching ten and no more than a skeleton with bones and a pair of judicious eyes popping out the front of my disproportionately oversized head. Thus I didn't care. I was willing to do anything just to put on some meat/fat/muscle/whatever. Even if it meant eating what gave the possibility of a stroke to others.

But that was not what I was thinking about now.

**

My closest friend, Goh Mia Hiang, grabbed his own bench as sat across me. Mia Hiang, a colossal and sturdy guy. He wasn't the best of intellectuals, but hey - to make it to the d'div. rugby team at only P4 was quite a feat. His plate too stockpiled high with prolly double the amount of fat and oil I had on mine. But he needed the fat for his cca. Mia Hiang, the guy whom when I pulled his chair out from under him fell so hard on the floor had a richter scale been there it'd had exploded. The most comical thing was he then turned around and cursed the new transfer nerd student from Taiwan. He didn't know it was me and would have most likely ruled out that possibility cos' of our closeness. The guy, tired of always taking the blame, just continued on with his huge assessment book of math. Eyuk. Geek. But Mia Hiang hitting the floor... I could barely control myself from breaking out in fits of laughter everytime I thought of the incident later that day - even if it made me feel guilty.

But no, right now I was not thinking about that too.

Right now all my mind pondered about and all my ears picked up was the exciting chatter of voices at the diagonally opposite table.

recount [Part II]

In the stillness of the room he lay.
He could not sleep. He just couldn't. The agony from the swell jerked him into consciousness every time his heavy eyelids connected. It was past two on a school day morning. But he knew he could not attend in his current crippled state. Flashes of the night that just had passed skimmed through his mind. His pillow and bedspread heavily drenched with tears and mucus and whatsoever that could and would come out.

He had rushed back to his room the moment he recovered sufficient strenght from the blow. His heart was burdened and his chest felt increasingly compressed each time he inhaled. He wondered if such a magnitude of an action could ever be condoned.

Meekly, the door to his room creaked open. Illuminated only by the dim moonlight that shone through the adjacent hall windows were the silhouettes of two figures.

"Bobby, are you still awake?" was gently whispered by his father.

A stiffled sob emitted from him. His father turned on the dim amber-neon light and slowly trod over and sat placidly by the side of his bed. His mother followed behind and closed the door softly.

Emotions once again gushed through him and tears could be felt surfacing once more. But he deadened them this time as being a boy - as all boys do - he thought it was a sign of weakness.

He was lying with his back to the door. He felt his father's tender hand slowly being placed on his left shoulder.

"Bobby..." came the hush once again.

This time, he could feel the regret and anguish in the voice too. His father too was beginning to tear. Yes - too. The moment he felt the touch his emotions overwhelmed him and fresh tears burst forth from the inner recesses of his already bloodshot eyes. At this, all the physical pain seemed to disappear. But the emotional one magnified many times over.

He swung around and buried his face in the chest of his father. By now he was grieving out loud in sorrow and guilt. His father too had tears streaming down the side of his wrinkled face. Cries after cries were being made. Understood by only those who had gone through a similar experience.

"bobby.. I just want you to know that every time I hit you.. my heart bleeds too.."

This further added to the sorrow.

And there in the sereneness of the morning he lay on his father's chest and cried till he could cry no more...

*End of Prolouge*

Chapters Start Next

recount [Part 1]

There on the floor he lay. His thick fingers clutched the back of his thighs ever so tightly. Tears cascaded down his thin, obtrusive cheeks as the shadow of them loomed over him. There - in their eyes lay a mixed suppression of feelings. One that he would never understand then. He knew he was not going to be able to walk for the next few days. But hey, at least it was better than going to a juvenile home. And in his mind he swore he would never commit such an audacity again.

VI

dammit. i dont want bronze. i think i deserve better.

On a lighter note

I wrote a song today. Second of the year. This one was really amazing. Cos I don't know where it came from. It just did. My very first upbeat praise song. I'm closing in on you Marty Sampson =D.

Live Forever
©2005 by Me
Since He came into me
I wondered what it really meant
I wondered what it's really like
Now that I've been born again

And as I opened my bible
I finally discovered
What I had in store for me

AND NOW I KNOW THAT

Chorus:
I am gonna live forever
I am gonna run through heavens fields of love
Dance in heavens streams of joy
Yeah Yeah and
I am gonna lift my voice and
I am gonna shout 'I LOVE YOU' to my king
For I am gonna live
Forever

So you ask me what's this joy?
What's this joy that's in my heart
And you ask me 'So do I?'
'So do I too have a part?'

If you open your life
Accept Him in your heart
Then you can be like me

COS' I KNOW THAT

bronze.

end of story.



wish it never started.



but the coin has not been flipped yet

disquietude

I am scared. I am afraid.

I am afraid of SYF.
I am afraid of N.A.P.F.A.
I am afraid of chinese 'o's
I am afraid of o' levels.
I am afraid I won't make it to ACJC.
I really am.

I am afraid I can't play my guitar well.
I am afraid I can't sing well.
I am afraid of going to school tomorrow and not getting accepted by peers.
I am afraid of failing.
I am afraid of being rejected.

I am afraid. So afraid.

People. Please. Pray.
God. Please. Help.

April Fool

HALLO!!! Sorry for putting up such a suicidal post!! I only meant it as joke but some of you guys took it so seriously!! Haha... I thought some ppl would know better that I'd never ever feel down abt my life cos' I got lotsa joy in my heart.

Lol.. well glad to know alot of ppl care abt me=D

Hope you guys didnt suffer too many other jokes!! Happy weekend. Promise I won't do sth like that ever again!! ")