- reformation -

Yesterday, I made two critical decisions, one more major than the other.



I called up the head of the Worship Youth Ministry and asked to step out of the Worship Team for the next quarter of the year.



Knowing it'll be filled with many commitments, even unforseen ones, and I don't know if I have the time to practice with the team.



But the more major one made me think much further.



In that same conversation over the phone, I told the Worship Head that halfway through the next quarter I will tell her if I want to leave the Worship Team for good or not.



Well, it's partly because I'm not doing fantastically on my spiritual aspect..



But more so is because I may be called to serve in an area in school.



And if so, I definitely have to get my priorities right and sacrifice one of two things that I love and cherish so much.



Just pondering about leaving for good makes me sad.



I've spent the better part of three years growing and learning together with others.



Not only how to better play the guitar, but to mature spiritually in my walk with God and to bring myself into a deeper level of worship.



Learning that in a band, sometimes simplicity is the best..



And tightness was something that could be forged only over time..



And I've spent a considerably period serving..



All the Sunday mornings, adult services, spiritually whacky and high camps, retreats, friday night pratices..



Currently i'm the most versatile guitarist in the team..



And I really thank God for my talent..



And to leave would mean that the other guitarists are going to have to step up to fill in the huge space I'm going to leave..



But I believe they can do it..



I belive that working together with the rest of the band, though the music might be slightly different, the worship will still be just as refreshing.



Haha I make it sound as if I am going to leave already.




Well.. I really don't know..




If it so happens I'm not ready to lead in school, then I will continue on in the last quarter..



Guess it all depends on me..



I got my wife nearing the end of sec three...



And I will now tell you my one greatest weakness as a guitarist.



I may seem fantastic and skillful when I play with a band, especially Christian Contemporary songs..



But as a lone performer of secular songs my range is so incredibly limited..



Guess it's cos I don't play anywhere outside of Christian contexts..



And sometimes I feel like crap cos I don't think I am worthy to play my wife..




My dear wife.. in both aspects..



I intended on seriously brushing up in JC but.. I have so many other things that require my attention first..



If I do leave the team then I guess..



My best level of guitaring will be where what I learn in the Army will lead me and no further..



I am not a good guitarist.



I may seem so in school and church, but in the real world, I am really just average.



Guess my improvement in guitaring and worship leading go hand in hand, while my school commitments go in another..



I sure do hope I make the right choice..



So I don't end up in limbo regretting everthing..



But then again..


That may not be totally bad..



Yup =>