the start of the mountain, the end of the enclosure.

oho~~!!

So I haven't blogged in quite some time oooops :p Thanks very much anyway to my classmate Chiang JiaYue for doing this very nice template specially for me :):):) Really appreciate it.

ah so many things have been happening, and i'm super excited and happy!!!!!!! For example: Juniors for KI, SA3 and CHOIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really really want to live up to my seniors who touched me and inspired me so much last year, which seemed so ultra increduous which i only realise now, looking at the huge pile of work they had to balance!!

WAOW!!!!!!!!

But at the same time.... im also really worried about my work.. my math which is in such a toubled state.. all the revision for j1 i need to do.. my KI Paper 3 Project which i have to send in my proposal to Cambridge by the end of the month.. and face possible international rejection... with the econs to independently study on as well and chem...

T.T

err.. help?!?!?!??????

i really really cant afford to waste anytime this year.. in addition to songwriting and such, i really wanna be on fire both spiritually and academically and chorally, and i really want to go to Cornell to study. yeah i wasted my chances of taking SATs in the hols but i got plenty of chances more.

it's like... i havent got time for anything else.. or even to think about anything else... i guess i could always rationalise from my heart to tell my mind to be able to work out something but, at the cost of other things??

nono. not right now. things are going to change so much this year, im so very sure of that, and i want to wait for the year to pass first. i want to wait for God. i dont want to run in front of Him anymore.

i will however, try my best to keep as many friendships as close as i can, with all the new ones coming in soon = )

no, things can't. its not like i havent told you. sorry.

innamorarsi; essere innamorato

should i?

i'm thinking, there's just that too great a disaprity..

i mean...

yeah i guess if i tried i might actually be able to but...

would it just be obligation??

the more i ponder the more the variety the more enticing it gets, and maybe concurrently it 'apparently' seems to be the right/eous, thing to do..

but would i then be fooling myself??

would it make me anymore of fickle and trifling...

or rather would it be if i did so without thinking and just zeroing now?

hmm.

i dont know.

i always dont.

i just dont want to return to the way i was 2/3 years ago, when i happily went out and stabbed myself, oblivious to the signs.

okay maybe not only 2/3 years ago but maybe nearer too but hey, at least i've learned well and finally managed to convalesce. it feels great now, no more oddity.

or have i learned?

only time can tell wont it...

and i think ill follow time..

hopefully it doesnt do too much..

and likewise, hopefully it doesnt do nothing.

time..

wonder how much i've got left...