- divine revelation -

I'm a fourth generation christian.


My dad told me that when he was young, he used to see my great-grandmother get down on her knees and pray hard for his family.


You know, sometimes I look around, or hear things, and get very envious.


The greatest and most dynamic preachers in the earth all weren't born into a christian family.


They all led horribly wrong lives; drugs, sex, smoking, getting into trouble with the law.


And one miraculous and momentous day in their late teens, they suddenly come across salvation by finding Jesus.


And it's like, SNAP!


The next moment their ENTIRE life is changed!!!


And they become such inspiring and fired-up people for Christ.


They go about and are able to change the life of others who were in the same state as they were.


They bring their entire family, and even community to Christ and a magnificent movement is sparked, with many many pre-believers coming to know Christ and His wonderful kingdom.


You know, I look at those people with such envy.


For I know that I will never have such a tremendous experience where my whole life is turned upside down.


I've been going to church since I was a baby, further back than I could ever remember.


I got baptised at the age of 7 or 8 with the pastor's son, and it could almost be said that Jesus has always been in my heart.


At the tender age of 11/12 I was already raising my hands to worship and call upon the name above all names so freely.


And you know what?


My faith then, that faith of a child, was fantastic.


The feeling I had when I God began to move in me was fantastic.


But you know what, because it happened when I was a child, I can't really remember what the feeling was like.


That's why I get envious.


Even Paul, the greatest of the apostles in the bible was not born into a Godly family.


In fact, he was the greatest persecutor of the church.


I read that, and I think to myself..


If only I had such a life-changing experience..


But the truth of the matter is I will never be able to have that.


I can't..


Sometimes I even think of just running away..


Just run away from God..


Get drunk.. high... loose.. smoke.. party.. enjoy what the world has to offer.


I mean... why are things created which we must abstain from??


Become a punk.. or some heavy metal rocker..


Isn't that cool?


Just swear off everything I hate..


And when I get into such deep deep shit, and I have nothing left, then maybe I'll stumble upon Jesus once more..


And then I'll be able to be transformed..


And used in mighty ways like so many dynamic evangelisers..


But then...


I'll be so so sorry won't I..


Would I ever be able to forgive myself??


Would I ever be able to stop my tears from flowing??


What if I never find Jesus again and commit suicide before that happens??


I'll be in hell for all eternity won't I..


Yeah sure I enjoyed my time of earth..


But eternity is... infinitely longer..


And to spend it in hell.. that sucks eh..


Haha sometimes I wonder why I think such silly thoughts..


I guess.. I should really count myself lucky that I know Jesus right now.


And He's in my heart.


And I have such a strong Christian family to support me.


Not to forget friends and mentors too.


So I'm not that different from Paul after all.


I better share all I have.


I better share Jesus.


Cos if I don't, who knows which of my pre-believer friends might end up in a burning lake of sulphur for all eternity.


I don't have to be the greatest preacher, the most dynamic youth pastor, a respected missionary, or someone like mother Theresa.


Guess I should just be me.


And follow what God's got in store for me.

=)

- the follow through -

Isn't this layout..



Perfect?



Haha well at least it's in accordance with my idea of a perfect layout!




Thanks bro so much for helping me out!!




I've been trying to change my layout for the pastyear or so, adding in pictures here and there!!




But I've come to the conclusion that simplicity is best.




Don't ya think so??




Haha wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

- fizzle away -

It's funny how love can speed up the process of forgiveness.




The thought of love;




The love I receive, both secularly and spiritually...





Especially when it's up close and personal..





Brings a warm feeling to my heart.





Today I got fuming mad.





My classmate once again did something to me, and no matter how I tried to ask it back, she wouldn't return it.




This was the 4th time she had done this to me.





It had been getting harder and harder to get my things back, and today..





She refused to give it back till I compromised all of her demands..





I did say before that I never get angry..





What I meant was, I never explode.





I do get angry, and you can tell when I'm furious.





It will be plain obvious.





But I don't blow up on anyone.





Anyway today the love that I got from a brother close to heart did calm me down quite a bit.




I just want to say to this beloved brother:




I know exactly what you are talking about.





I know exactly what you want to say.





I know exactly what you mean.





But I'm like this.




Because I don't explode, I take time to fizzle down.




All I need is time.




I thank you for giving me words of encouragement and wisdom but..




I know it all already.





I know it exactly the way you do, and more.





So next time just let me be..





Give me my few moments to set myself right again.





What I said today about the forget part, I definitely didn't miss out the other half.




The more important half.




Just that I didn't say it cos I'd done it already.




Usually all I need is time.





And I'll be fine and dandy in a few hours.





Alright?!?




Love you bro.

Scandinavian Story of Creation

Come, let me tell you what the Scandinavian's believe.




Or rather, how they believe they came to be.




Odin is the All-Father. He is the oldest and most powerful of the Gods.

Through the ages he has ruled all things.

He created heaven and earth, and he made man and gave him a soul.

But even the All-Father was not the very first.




At first there was only a great void, Ginnungagap.

Eventually a region of mist and ice, Niflheim, was formed in the North and a region of fire, Muspellsheim, was formed in the south.

The great world-tree, Yggdrasil, reached through all time and space, but was perpetually under attack from Nidhogg, the evil serpent.




The fountain of Mimir,a source of hidden wisdom, lay under a root of the tree.

Niflheim cane into contact with Muspellheim, and the fires melted the ice, which yielded Ymir, the Frost-Giant with a human form.

From Ymir's sweat then came a race of Giants, so that a huge cow(Audhumla) was created to feed them.




One day, the cow licked the ice and hair emerged, on the next day a head and on the third day Buri emerged, fully formed.

Buri begot a son, Bur, who in turn had three sons: Odin, Vili and Ve.

These three were a new race, not Giants but gods.

They banded together and murdered Ymir.




Most of the other Giants drowned in Ymir's blood, which created a great sea.

From Ymir's body the three gods made solid land, the earth, and from his skull they made the heavens.

They then created a race of dwarves from the maggots that fed upon Ymir's body.

This was followed by the creation of the first man and the first woman.

They shaped the man from an ash tree and the woman from a vine.





And there you have it.




The scandinavian creation story.




I'm not kidding.




But even if you find it ridiculous..




Once I talk about the biblical story maybe you won't find this one that ridiculous after all..



Haha.. that'll come in a few days time..




Till then :)

- Salvation -

Two millenia ago, Jesus Christ the Nazarene died for the sins of all.




He wasn't immortal;




He felt the pain.




Indescribable pain.




Pain due to being battered.. till no one could recognise you anymore.




Not just the face; the entire body.




I know I wouldn't have been able to tolerate that.




I would give up.




Then again, I guess that's why I'm not Jesus.




Jesus didn't have a choice.




He had a purpose.




He didn't die for the sins of His age in Jerusalem.




He died for everyone from before, now, and in the future.




He died for me.




He died for YOU.




He died not for our one greatest sin;




He died for ALL of them.




He hung up on a cross.




Blood dripping from His wounds.




And he look at the world.




Not with His eyes but with His heart.




And knew..



He wasn't dying for nothing.




With His last breath..




His last aching, dying breath..




He claimed victory.




Jesus was, is and will be the only way to heaven.




What lies in heaven is greater than anything now.




Emotions, achievements...



All are NOTHING..




NOTHING... compared to eternity with our Creator.




If you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord over your life, and believe it with all Your heart, and invite Him into your heart,




Eternity is yours.




Wow.. it's that simple isn't it.




I still cannot comprehend it..




We are.. insignificant..




Nothing compared in the eyes of one who made the heavens and the earth..




NOTHING.. nothing at all..




And yet Jesus died.. for you..




For me..



The thought of it..




Brings me to my knees..



All the time..



Redeemer, Saviour, Friend
I know You had me on Your mind

When You climbed up on that hill

For You saw me with eternal eyes

While I was yet in sin

Redeemer, Saviour, Friend



Every stripe upon Your battered back

Every thorn that pierced Your brow

Every nail drove deep through guitless hands

Showed that Your love knows no end

Redeemer, Saviour, Friend


Chorus:
Redeemer, redeem my heart again
Saviour, come and shelter me from sin
You're familiar with my weakness
Devoted to the end
Redeemer, Saviour, Friend
Redeemer, Saviour, Friend



So the grace You poured upon my life

I'll return to You with praise

And I'll gladly lay down all my crowns

For the name of which I'm saved

Redeemer, Saviour, Friend

waiting=wanting?!?

Haha this is a post to analyse what Kathy said.





Who is Kathy btw?!?!





(I'm sorry)





Anyway so she says that we aren't waiting when we're sleeping.





Hmmm...





And no I think to say that we are waiting to wake up would sound very stupid..





Let's set some boundaries.





What is waiting??





Dictionary.com(if we can find this reliable) defines it as:





'To remain or rest in expectation'






To remain... or rest... in expectation.





Does sleep then constitute to rest?!?





Haha okay lets not go there.





So back to the topic.





Ever had that feeling, which gives you insomnia due to excitement?!?





Like the night before your 'o' level results come out, or Christmas Eve night?!?





Where you go to sleep with a heart burdened or eagerly anticipating the events of the next day,





And you don't get a comfortable sleep.






And even your dreams mostly constitute of what might happen the next day!!






So can it be such that every night we go to sleep anticipating something the next day??





Just that more often than not it's just that the scope of what we're anticipating is not so huge, thus we can get a more peaceful rest?!?






I think that if we were to sleep not expecting something the next day, what would drive us on?!?





What would make us get out of bed?!?





The Legal Law??





The scolding and chiding of parents?!?





Or could it be more probably the want to see your friends, teachers, or to attend a certain activity?!?





If there were a moment in life in which we didn't expect anything...





Would we just be..





Nothing?!?





What then would we be living for?!?





Even if were taking our last few breaths here on earth...





Wouldn't we be waiting to see what happens after we..





die?!?






hmm.. I think K&I has gotten too much into me haha.





I don't really mean to argue here and I don't purposely want to put anyone down.





But it's cool if you want to reason with me cos I'm open for it!!!?!?!





Yeap let me go back to making my point.





Thus, with all the aforementioned,





Would it be plausible to say that even in sleep we are waiting??





And thus every moment of our lives we are having an expectation?!?






Haha yeah.. ?!?






(I'm very happy that you tagged me anyway Kathy =D=D=D=D)

I remember I saw an advertisement.




I think it was showed on tv, and it contained the number of days of your life that you spend doing something.





Like:

Sleeping -25 years of your life.
Walking - 8000 steps/day of your life.





Or something like that.





But what really made me ponder about the advertisement was waiting.






It showed the picture of a small girl at a window, and it said:





Waiting- Everyday of your life.





And I thought abit about that.





Indeed it was true.





You do wait for something everyday of your life.





The traffic light, the lift, the rain to stop etcetc.





And it also got me thinking,





Is it possible that we are waiting every moment of our life??





The more I think of it, the more I think it's true.





Every moment of our lives we are waiting for something to happen.





The "A" levels to be over.





A job promotion.





The weekend.





An sms reply.





The alarm to ring.




The homework to be finished.




A birthday.




A wedding day.




A performance date.




Someone to come.




Your child to learn to walk/talk.




So cool right!??




Bet you never thought of this before.




Lol to be honest, I have no idea why I post this post.





Kind of random,





But I want to put out a challenge.




Can anyone prove me wrong??





Is there ever a moment in life in which you don't wait for anything?!?





Is there?!?





I don't think so..




But feel free to tell me ;)

- liberation -

I've changed my mind once more.





I don't usually get angry.





I don't get angry at all.





Except when I fight myself.





I'm free to be the object of laughter all the time.





Except when I fight myself.





I don't want to fight my inner being any longer.





I'll be blunt.






If by letting go, I can worship more freely,






If by letting go, I'll be able to tap into more of His peace,





If by letting go, I can tap into more of His Joy,






If by letting go, I can tap into more of His Love,






Then what am I waiting for??






The past few weeks, I have been disobedient.






Very disobedient.






I don't wanna be that way any longer.





I haven't talked to God in ages cos I know His answer already.





I know that I'd be much happier letting go.




I know it, yet I refuse to acknowledge it.





I have been refusing and refusing, and my whole temperament changes.





As I walked out of school today, I felt so numb.





Thats the most hateful feeling.





You're not sad, happy, angry- just numb.





It sucks.





It's like being lukewarm.





I don't want to waste too much time here.





I don't want to bore you down with my internal strife.





I don't want to feel jealous any longer.





I'm sorry I'm doing this.





I really am.





Hopefully you can understand me.






Cause I think I'm handing back the key.





Cause' I think I am...

letting go..

God, I'm still here, and You're still there.





You always will be there.





And this is a song I wrote today cos I know you are there.






It's not quite done yet, but I wanna shout it aloud nonetheless.





I haven't found a title yet.




Maybe someone can help me with that.




And the song is not complete either.





If I were to cry,
You would catch my tears
If I were to scream
You would lend Your ear
For I know,
That You are always there for me


If I lost my grip,
You would break my fall
If I fought myself
You would feel it all
For I know,
That You know every part of me


I can't escape this world/
I can't run away..
Even if I did try, I'd end up in Your arms..

- bobpig -

I read in the papers about dog blogs today.



So I thought it'd be quite interesting if I were to write up a post of me being an animal.




Don't think I wanna copy everyone else so.. I shall be a pig!!




Lets start my day!!




Day in the Life of Bobby the Pig
"bbbzzzzz... buzzzz... buzzzzz..."




"buzzz... BUZZZZ... BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ"






"BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!... ZIPPP"




"BAH STUPID HOUSEFLY!!! *snort* GO AWAY AND LET ME REST IN PEACE YOU SMALL IRRITANT!!"





(waves paw pathetically in air to shoo housefly off)





*squints at surroundings*





(fly buzzes away for now)




(tries to go back to sleep)





*period of silence*





(can't go back to sleep)





*opens tiny eyes and squints at surroundings once more*




*snort**snort**sniff**SNIFF*




"ooo.. food's here!!"




(rolls over obese body and tries to stand up on wobbly pork legs)





(sees the food)





*snort!! snort!!*





(starts drooling like crazy and trotter over to the food, tail frantically curling around)




"letsee what do we have.. ah chow again!!!!"






(buries head in food and starts muching like a mad pig)





*chew**chew**snort**chew**munch**snort**munch**munch*





"ooogo.. thhhiisshh izzzsshh gguddd fuudd.. i loiikkee *munch munch*"





okay this is acutally quite stupid.




I dont wanna be a pig anymore haha.




*end of story*





Anyway ACJC CHOIR CONCERT TICKETS AT ESPLANADE 29th MAY UP FOR SALE!!




Get them from me before they sell out :)